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Recent Funny Scanner Traffic Transcripts

July 19, 2012

Here are transcripts of several funny conversations I have recently heard on my scanner, one from Erie PA police and one from Buffalo NY police. I’m sorry I don’t have recordings of them- they were fantastic!

Heard this call around 1:00 AM Saturday night (Sunday morning I guess) on the Erie, PA police dispatch channel.

Unit A: A to Erie.
Dispatch: Go ahead A.
Unit A: If you get any calls for a woman outside screaming near the corner of X and Y streets, disregard, I’ve taken care of it.
Dispatch: Copy.
Unit A: It was some female… apparently she’s 18 and is just proud that she has no kids.
Dispatch (chuckling): Copy that.
Unit B: No, I’d say that’s just lucky.
Unit A: Yeah, it really is quite an achievement.
(Multiple mike clicks before operations returned to normal)

Heard this last night on one of the Buffalo (NY) police dispatch channels.

Dispatch: Units X and Y, respond to 123 Q Street, for a trespassing complaint. Caller reports a group of males sitting on the front porch. They will not leave, are dealing drugs, and are concealing it in their cheeks.
Unit X: Their cheeks?
Dispatch: Actually, I’m not going to say this on-air… well… (chuckles) it’s not referring to the mouth cheeks.
Units X and Y (chuckling): Copy, enroute.
Unit Z (sounding eager): Disregard one of those units, dispatch, I’m going on the Cheeks Call.
Dispatch (almost busting up laughing): Copy….
Another unit said something else humorous at that point, which I could not hear over my own laughter, but I did catch the dispatcher, by this point really laughing, say, “All units, shshshshsh, shshshshsh!”

I love those clear, summer evenings when BPD comes in at my house, some 90 miles away. Living in “the woods” as I do, it is refreshing to hear so much activity. You sure do get some fantastic calls!


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